Signs You’re A People Pleaser at Work
Say it with me: other peoples emotions are not your responsibility to manage 👏🏼 especially at work! The truth is you might not even realize you’re a people pleaser! And it can honestly be pretty difficult to break out of. Here are some tips to break out of that toxic cycle 👇🏼👇🏼
While it's great to be helpful and considerate, ❌ constantly seeking validation and prioritizing others' needs above your own can negatively impact your career ❌ By setting healthy boundaries, you can not only teach others to respect your time but also allow yourself a healthy work-life balance.
Here are some signs that you might be a people pleaser
Difficulty saying no: Do you find it challenging to decline requests or set boundaries? If you often say yes to everything, even when you're overwhelmed 😔 or it compromises your own priorities, it may be a sign of people-pleasing tendencies ✔️ This could even take the shape of little white lies. Say your team is setting up a team bonding experience to watch the latest horror film 👻 but you hate horror films! Do you a) say yes and pretend to love them 😍🎬🍿 or b) do you kindly decline knowing that the film will keep you up at night? Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own work and well-being.
Fear of disappointing others: If you are constantly seeking approval and avoiding conflicts at all costs, then you’re most likely exhibiting people pleasing behavior. People pleasers often fear disappointing others 😬🫣 or being perceived negatively. This fear can lead to overcommitment, taking on tasks that aren't aligned with your goals, and ultimately hindering your own progress ✋🏼🛑
Lack of assertiveness: People pleasers tend to avoid assertiveness out of fear of confrontation or upsetting others. If you struggle to speak up 🗣️📣 for your ideas, opinions, or needs in a meeting, it can limit your ability to contribute fully and assert your value in the workplace.
Neglecting personal goals: Are you so focused on meeting others' expectations that you neglect your own professional goals? 😵💫 People pleasers often prioritize pleasing others over their own aspirations. It's important to strike a balance between supporting your colleagues and investing in your own growth ⚖️🌱
Ok Erin, but how does this negatively impact my career? Let’s take a look:
Stagnation of personal growth: Constantly prioritizing others' needs can hinder your personal and professional growth 👎🏼🔻 By spending more time on other’s tasks, you take away valuable time to excel in your own. It's important to focus on your own development 🫵🏼, take on challenging projects, and pursue opportunities that align with your career goals. Remember, your growth is just as important as anyone else's.
Loss of credibility and visibility: When you constantly seek validation and approval, it can undermine your credibility and visibility in the workplace. By consistently putting others' needs ahead of your own, you may inadvertently convey a lack of confidence in your own abilities 💪🏼🥇 Take pride in your work and communicate your value effectively.
Burnout and stress: People-pleasing often leads to overcommitment and taking on more than you can handle 😤😡 This can result in burnout and increased stress levels, ultimately affecting your well-being and job satisfaction. Learning to set boundaries and prioritize self-care can be extremely helpful in combating this 🫱🏻🫲🏼
So now that we’ve identified the signs, how do we go about breaking the people-pleasing cycle?
Practice assertiveness: Start by asserting yourself in small ways, such as expressing your opinions in team meetings or setting clear boundaries with your workload 🎙️✋🏼 Gradually build your confidence in asserting your needs and advocating for yourself.
Learn to say no: Remember that saying no is not a negative thing. It's about setting boundaries and prioritizing your own responsibilities ✅✨ Practice saying no respectfully and offer alternative solutions when possible.
Focus on your own goals: Identify your own professional goals and take intentional steps to pursue them 👣 Set clear objectives, seek opportunities aligned with your aspirations, and invest in your own growth.
Seek support: Don't hesitate to seek support from mentors, colleagues, or a career coach 🙋♀️✍🏼 They can provide guidance and help you navigate the challenges of breaking free from people-pleasing habits.
Remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint 🏃♀️⌛️ Changing old behaviors and habits take time but by being aware of your people-pleasing tendencies and taking proactive steps to address them, you can cultivate a more fulfilling and successful professional journey 💙💛
Looking for more job searching tips? Be sure to check out my Career Workshop Intensive, a 4-part program designed to help you land a job you love ASAP 🌈